There are two kinds of people in the world: pen leavers and pen takers. By fulfilling their respective roles, they ensure the steady flow of writing utensils in the workplace. Pen leavers do not believe that they are being careless with their pens, and they are not. They are pen takers, and try as they may, they simply can't hang on to the same pen for more than a couple of weeks. Pen leavers do not believe that they are stealing, and they are not. They are pen takers, and when an unclaimed pen presents itself they are powerless to leave it lying on that conference table.

Pen leavers never have any recollection of misplacing their pens and pen takers never remember taking pens that don't belong to them. If you were to ask a pen leaver "What happened to that cool pen you had last week?" you would receive a puzzled look followed by a wistful expression of fond remembrance. When you ask a pen taker "Where did you get that great pen?" you get a blank stare and a reply something like "What pen, now?"

Pen leavers are the ones who pick up souvenir pens at trade shows and hotel lobbies, order pens from the company store, and even occasionally purchase their own pens; all for a few blissful days of scribbling before involuntarily redistributing them.

Pen takers are the ones who believe that pens are a right and not a privilege. They know that whenever they need to write something down, there will be a pen within arm's reach. They never even notice that the pens they are using have sombody else's bite marks or monograms on them. Pen takers are the reason that the ten-cent Bic on the counter of every deli has a fork duct taped to it to make sure it won't fit into a pocket.

I am a pen leaver, and I've come to accept this fact. If you are a pen taker, do me a favor and check your pockets for a pale green ball-point from the Metropolitan Hotel in Manhattan. Now that was a great pen! I used it to write this.

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