Songs, or are they? Mr. Gebhard imitates music for you

The noise maker himself
These songs are the unfortunate result of Andrew Gebhard sitting in a room with a guitar in a desperate attempt to amuse himself.

	At the end of an affair, it’s natural for the jilted party to reflect wistfully upon the relationship: “What have I lost, what have I learned, what have I gained?” Sometimes one gains from romance by learning something new about love. In other cases, one gains tangible rewards from one’s lover in the form of embezzled funds and stolen merchandise. Isn’t it romantic?
	Few things in this world are as pathetic as a person who exists only as one half of a couple. I’m not naming any names, but I believe that an individual should strive to be a real person first and a swanky dreamboat second (only if time permits). Sometimes we’re only cool because somebody digs us. If you take away the digging, the coolness vanishes of its own accord.
	I’m not sure if it’s in spite of the fact that she gets hair on my couch and barks at the mailman or because of it.
	This is one of those rare occasions in which the song is actually about itself. If this sounds like an opportunity for a deep poetic look inside the songwriters' mind, consider it a missed opportunity. Sometimes if you clear away the clutter, you just find more clutter.

Mr. Gebhard offers his apologies in advance to anyone who has the misfortune of hearing any of this material. He urges listeners to proceed at their own risk.